Weekly WINGS
Wisdom and Inspiration Nurturing Growth and Success
Quick… Look up!
Take just a minute to look up from your phone or computer and let your eyes wander around the room to re-orient yourself in time and space.
Then take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Ahhh…… breathe in… breathe out….
Look outside a window, if you’re near one. What do you see out there?
Now… ask yourself these questions:
What is on my agenda today?
I’ve probably made time for a lot of things I have to do…. but do I also have things on my calendar that I really want to do?
Is there time for joy? For relaxation? For fun and play?
If not… when is the last time I scheduled time for these things?
If you’re like many adults, time for play is probably not on your calendar as often as you’d like. It’s something that’s missing, and you might not even notice.
Sure, you may do playful things with your kids and take them on play dates with friends and family … but are you doing things that you really enjoy, too?
For a lot of adults, a coping mechanism for stress and trauma is to focus on work and household duties and just stay busy, busy, busy all day long without taking time to laugh, be silly, or be creative.
Hobbies seem old-fashioned…. something people used to do in the days before the TV and the Internet came along.
And we get sucked into the daily grind, the daily news, the daily errands…
Until it’s been so long we can’t even remember what we enjoy doing for fun anymore.
Important: Before I continue, I want to acknowledge that some parents and teachers are so deep in crisis mode right now that they can’t even think straight and are barely getting through the day… If that’s you, then go read THIS older article instead, from those early days when my family was in crisis, too. Or THIS one, if you are at the point that you need to call 9-1-1 for your safety. One thing that used to annoy me the most back in those days were breezy, lighthearted blogs from people who had never raised or taught kids like ours!
Make a joy list
One of the activities that I ask parents and teachers to do when they come to me for coaching and training is to make a list of things that bring them joy, whether that is through increasing their energy or decreasing their stress and bringing in more peace and relaxation.
Sadly, I find that many wonderful parents and teachers tell me that this activity is actually very hard for them. It has been so long since they prioritized their own well-being and pleasure that they don’t even know what to put on the list.
Side note… I don’t use the phrase “self care” anymore because it’s thrown around so much that it has lost meaning. Many teachers I talk to regularly say that they have had enough of the “self care lectures” at school because the idea of a spa day just isn’t going to happen, and what they really need is better support, teamwork, and resources at school.
The activities and experiences I’m talking about right now are the things that bring us more life and excitement, deeper joy and meaning, and sometimes laughter so contagious and raucous that it makes your sides hurt.
Who are the people in your life that make you feel this way? Can you call them up, or meet for coffee this week?
What could you do by yourself for five minutes, twenty minutes, or an hour that would bring a little spark of life into an otherwise hum-drum daily routine?
Make a list of those things. Then add one or two to your calendar. Make joy and play a habit.
It’s important. You are important. And you are allowed to have fun!
The power of play
I was reminded of the power of play today after seeing a post by my favorite parenting author, Dr. Mona Delahooke.
Dr. Delahooke’s acclaimed, best-selling book Beyond Behaviors is the one I most often recommend to parents and teachers who are new to the paradigm shift towards caregiving rooted in neuroscience and compassion.
She reminds us that play is essential for the development of children and that because of increased academic pressures, technology, and other factors “children have fewer and fewer chances for spontaneous play, which helps them work the ‘muscles’ of emotional problem solving and build psychological resilience.”
If we want to build capacity for emotional regulation and executive function in our children, we need to make time for play in our children’s lives.
And we need to make time for play in our lives, too. Because we were once children, and we still carry the child we were at every age inside us.
Children know when we are burned out on life, and when all we do is work, work, work, with no time for rest and recreation, they can feel it.
Those of us who are raising and teaching children need to remind ourselves how they relate to the world and learn to speak their love language… the embodied language of play.
I went to the woods
Yesterday, I finally used my new State Parks and Recreation pass to go to a local park and nature preserve, Fort Harrison State Park.
Even though it’s only about a fifteen minute drive from our house, I’ve never visited in the eight years that we have lived in Indiana. It was always one of those places I had on my list for “someday”….
But the spring weather was so perfect that I decided to turn someday into TODAY.
The woods were absolutely gorgeous!
Going to the woods was one of the most memorable fun playtime activities of my childhood.
My sister and I would spend hours and hours wandering around the wooded trails behind our house, finding moss and wildflowers and making little flower arrangements on flat rocks, catching and releasing crawdads, hunting for fossils in the creek, and just creating stories and being together in the joy of outdoor play and creativity.
Going to Fort Harrison State Park yesterday was life-giving to me and to my inner child. It refreshed and inspired me so deeply that when I got home, I could tell that my son Hiro was vicariously inspired.
We both love being in the woods, and he is excited to join me next time.
Where do you want to go to play? What would inspire you today or as soon as you can this week?
Go there, and do that. You have permission. It’s not a waste of time.
Life is short. Play more, and enjoy it!
Your work and family duties will all still be there when you get back.
HSI Certification Programs
Enrollment is Open
Join us!
HSI provides world-class Trauma-Informed Certifications programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.
NEW for 2023: The program is now self-paced so you can either choose to go through the material slowly or choose the intensive fast-track to finish the entire program during the summer and start the new school year fully certified!
Become a confident, trusted expert, and earn up to 10 accredited graduate semester units from University of the Pacific!
Enrollment is now open, and for a limited time, there are partial scholarships available.
HSI provides world-class Trauma-Informed Certifications programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.
NEW for 2023: The program is now self-paced so you can either choose to go through the material slowly or choose the intensive fast-track to finish the entire program during the summer and start the new school year fully certified!
Become a confident, trusted expert, and earn up to 10 accredited graduate semester units from University of the Pacific!
The Big Book List for Trauma-Informed Changemakers (first edition)
Did you get a copy of this book list, uniquely organized by the Heart-Strong Spiraling Stages of Growth? In it you’ll find a list of 111 books about real growth and transformation that happens in compassionate relationships… and, you’ll also get a bonus mini-course on how to start your own book study or book club!