WW #015: Your Mess is your Message

Weekly WINGS

Wisdom and Inspiration Nurturing Growth and Success

Many of you are following a variety of experts in the field of trauma, or others who are working on the cutting-edge of neuroscience, personal development, parenting, and education.

You have read books from experts and are always on the lookout for new ideas that will add to your growing toolbox of strategies.

Most of you are parents and teachers who are already working to help heal the trauma of the children you are raising and teaching.

And you are also doing things every day to prevent trauma by supporting vulnerable nervous systems with compassion, connection, and co-regulation.

The Power of Lived Experience

Reading books, attending conferences and workshops, and listening to experts on podcasts can be a great way to enhance your skills.

But if you are doing this work in your family or classroom on a daily basis, there are things you know that go so much deeper than someone with a fancy degree.

You have the advantage of lived experience.

You have most likely tried so many things that the experts have suggested, but they may not all work for the child or children in your care.

You have learned how to individualize and adjust these strategies to fit the unique needs of each one of them, carefully attuning to their nervous systems and identifying the deepest root causes of their struggles.

This kind of hard-earned wisdom cannot be learned from a book.

For those with intimate knowledge from lived experience, your life is your PhD.

And this knowledge and wisdom is incredibly valuable and sadly, often overlooked.

Do you ever dream about doing work that can impact lives on a deeper level?

At HSI, we value the lived experience of parents and educators, and we center you as lived experience experts who truly know what it is like to raise and teach children with trauma.

When my family was in crisis, the advice that well-meaning social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, and educators who did not have direct experience with a child like mine only went so far.

What made the biggest difference for us was the support and compassionate wisdom of other parents who had actually raised a child like mine, and teachers who had successfully navigated challenges over years of using compassion and co-regulation in their classrooms.  

The difficulties and challenges that you have been through have helped you understand deeply how to be heart-strong in the midst of struggle.  

And that means you also have something very important to share with others.

This act of sharing your hard-earned wisdom is not only helpful to others, it can help in your own growth and healing process.

And through this transformational process, your mess can become your message.

Not only do you have a deeper understanding of what it’s like to support children with challenged, you also have a deeper capacity for empathy and compassion for other adults who are in the same or similar shoes as yours.

This kind of wisdom simply cannot be taught, and that’s why we place such a high priority on enrolling parents and teachers in our programs, rather than those who have an advanced degree in social work, therapy, counseling, or administration.

Each of those professionals have an important role, but YOU as a parent or teacher with lived experience have a very special role that nobody else can truly fill.

The world needs compassionate leaders

There are so many families and educators struggling right now, and there is not nearly enough compassion and support available to provide the real, tangible help they need.

Many leaders in our schools and communities are focusing on “cracking down” on children with behavior challenges rather than really looking deeply at the traumatic root causes of these challenges.

We desperately need more compassionate leaders with lived experience to step up and be champions for these children and their families and teachers.

There are a lot of different ways to do this!

You can….

…spend time encouraging other parents and teachers doing the work each day.

…attend school board meetings and speak up for children and educators.

…get involved in causes and organizations that are making positive changes.

…donate your time and talents to make a difference where it is needed.

…show up and speak up in meetings where policy-makers are asking for community input.

…write articles, books, or curriculum materials that are trauma-informed.

And for those of you ready to take it to the next level…

You can become a Trauma-Informed Specialist, Certified Parent Coach, or Certified Educational Trainer and provide practical, compassionate support for families and teachers to support the growth and healing of our most vulnerable and challenging children.

Be the kind of leader the world needs

If you are passionate about using your lived experience to become the compassionate, trauma-informed, healing-centered leader that children, families, and teachers really need today, then we would love to talk to you about joining our one-of-a-kind certification programs!

These programs provide the tools and strategies you need to become a confident expert who can be a role-model and change-maker in schools, communities, and families.

Scholarships: A limited number of partial scholarships are available to those with significant financial need. Download and the brochure, then hit “reply” for more information or to schedule a Zoom call.

Many of our graduates have also found that the program has made them better parents and teachers of their own children!


I hope this Weekly WINGS has been helpful to you!


Make a commitment this week to step up as a compassionate, trauma-informed leader in whatever way your heart is leading you to serve, and I’ll see you here again next week!

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